Lost

I'm searching for something or someone in life and I have no idea who/what it is. Theres something missing. I make these bad choices because I want to be loved and don't know a healthy way of going about it. I need to work through these issues before I even think about getting with someone else. I want to be happy, I want to be madly in love, I want to be a good person. I just don't know how to go about it. I've had 1 relationship that most would consider healthy, and that was when I was 15/16. So that's what i've thought about all last night.
I think I need to get back into church. Not only for me but I think it would be good for my daughter. I think i'll call my old pastor today and have a talk with him, because I can't live like this anymore.
On a different note I'm going to the doctor on Monday, since i've had unprotected sex it will give me some peace of mind to know im STD free and not pregnant. Plus since im leaving the country on the 11th, best to know im healthy. I also have to taken my daughter because she's feeling a bit under the weather. I think it's just a nasty cold, and i'm willing to bet she'll be better by Monday but still best to be safe.
Also my divorce (I promise to explain things a bit more) from hubby #2 should be final much earlier then I thought. Because hubby #2 never changed his info over from FL he can file there instead of us waiting a year here in NC. We have no kids together, and have a pre-nup so theres nothing to really fight about. It should be over by the end of July! This takes a huge weight off of me.
Why i'm in my mid 20s and going through divorce #2-
Parents didnt approve of first marriage. Got divorced right away. Got pregnant from a 1 night stand. Even bigger embarassment to parents. Pushed into a relationship with someone I didn't love, but my parents liked him and he was good with my daughter. Married after a year of dating. Hit me 5 months into the marriage. Abuse got worse so I left. Thats why at such a young age im going through divorce #2.
Life is crazy...