I hate night

I hate night time. I've never been one to stay up late, I enjoy my sleep. But lately I dread it. I stay up as late as I can so that by the time I go and lay down Im so tired that I fall right asleep. I hate just laying there with nothing else to do but think. While things are good right now, my mind always comes back to the not so good things of the past. Im so unhappy with some of the choices i've made...
On to a different subject, the point of writing this was to get my mind off of those things. I talked to the new guy tonight about everything on my list. And he's okay with it all, which makes me feel even more unworthy of someone like that. I dont accept myself so why should anyone else. I think I shocked him at first putting everything out there, but he was so nice about it. I explained the abortion and the first thing he asked was if I was all right. He said he feels like he's been waiting for me for a long time and that he isn't going to let the ups and downs of life get in the way of seeing where this may go. In the last 24 hours i've seen him 3 times but it still doesn't feel like enough. He's so upfront with me, which i've never had. For some reason I seem to find the guys who like to play games. Which now as a mom, I don't have time for. If you dont like me and dont want to be with me then let me know, dont waste my time.
I think he likes me just as much as I like him. We have so much incommon, and I love that he's a parent. He can totally relate when it comes to all the craziness that comes along with that. He's also been married so theres 0 weirdness with that. He also wants more kids (yay), and with being 36 would like them soon. Not that we're moving that fast or anything, but it's nice to know that if things should work out that its on the table. I would hate to put the time and effort into someone only to find out later on they dont want something I do.
We're not "together" as of right now, but I do see it happening in the future. He's just such a nice guy! I kinda feel like God sent him to me in my time of need. I've been very lucky that at the worst times in my life someone comes in and helps me through it.
Things just feel different with him :)