Ordinary Miracle

Kiddo has been really into "Charlotte's web" lately (I think it's helping her understand the dying process). The message has really been making me think about how amazing and what a miracle life. There are so many miracles that happen every day that we over look.

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER (By Erma Bombeck)
I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet were stained and the sofa faded. I would
have eaten the popcorn in the GOOD living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone
wanted to light a fire in the fireplace. I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about
his youth. I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up! on a summer day because my hair
had just been teased and sprayed. I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it
melted in storage. I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains. I
would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life. I would have
gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding patter if I weren’t
there for the day. I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn’t show soil or
was guaranteed to last a lifetime. Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished
every moment realizing that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God
in a miracle. When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, “Later, now go get washed
up for dinner.” There would have been more “I Love You’s” and more “I’m sorry’s” but mostly, given
another shot at life, I would seize every minute ….. Look at it and really see it… live it. And never give it
back.

The last few weeks have been life changing. Im ready to move forward in life and make the most of every day. I want my final thought in life to be what an amazing ride, and I wouldn't change a thing. Life is so precious, but yet we waste it evey day. We get caught up in day to day life that we forget just how amazing being alive is. What a miracle it is even to be alive.

"Hey mom"

So my step-son is a huge joker, he's always playing pranks. Well one of his favorite things to do lately is call me mom in public. It's very clear im not old enough to be his mom. He looks older then me lol. This has got me some very weird looks from people when he does this.
The first time was in the school office. Caught me way off guard and I ended up making myself look dumb trying to explain things. Im not even 10 years old then him @@ Lucky for me the people in the office saw some humor in it. Unlike the Football Booster moms. Wow what a tough crowd!
I have 0 incommon with these women. Most of them are in their 40s, and here Iam a 26 year old step-mom. Im sure gold digger and homewrecker have been used when talking about me. This is the only time our age difference has come up.
So far all the kids friends parents i've met have been nice and very welcoming. So thats a plus. I guess i shouldnt even let this get to me. We're happy and the gap in age truly never comes up between us. Gotta love judgmental soccer moms.

Been awhile

Wow it's been awhile since i've updated. Life got a bit out of hand there for a moment. Feels good to be back home and into the flow of things again. So heres my crazy long update lol.

Pregnancy- Babywise things are going good. So far this pregnancy is a lot like Kiddos, which kinda scares me. Im getting crazy bad heartburn, always feeling sick, tired, emotions are all out of whack. The only thing different is im always hungry this time. I need to talk to my doctor about getting on some meds or something. I don't want to deal with depression this time. Im seeing a midwife, and as of right now im going to try for a water birth in a birthing center. Im very excited about that. Im very commited to atleast going natural this time, so we're trying to prepare for that. Im going to pilates every weekday morning, reading up on natural child birth and trying to mentally prepare. Yeah its really early, but its hard to turn down the promise of relief when your in the moment.
We're undecided if we're going to find out the sex. We have 14ish weeks before we can, but we keep going back and forth. On one hand I don't want to know. I want to find out after birth. But on the other it would be nice to plan before he/she arrives.

Kiddo- Doing wonderful. All tests came back normal and we can't find anything wrong with her. Their thinking it was stress, but we have to keep an eye on things. Should her bowel issue come back we're going to have to go forward with invaseive tests :( She getting the best care possible now, so I feel better just waiting and seeing.
She loves school. Has a group of friends, all boys @@. One of the boys she calls her bestfriend and their joined at the hip. Its really cute. They've even talked on the phone lol. He's 4, older man. Kinda nerdy kid, but a cutie. The teacher said Kiddo is very well liked, a friend to everyone, and a helper :) She also said she's very fair and good at sharing, which amazes me. Paying attention isn't a strong point of hers and talking has been a bit of a problem.

Hubby- Doing great as well. We've found some land that we're about to put an offer on and he's all excited about that. We're going to build our own house. Pretty much just us, family, and some help from his workers. We're trying to draw up some plans now. It's hard when you have a blank slate to do whatever. We get way out of hand and end up with a billion different rooms lol. But anyway, he's good. He's been extra romantic lately and im loving it. He comes home everyday at lunch :)

We had a death in the family (an uncle on my moms side). I was life changing watching that process. Made me want to do more to help people. Which brings me to work. I really dislike where I work and im positive I don't want to work in a spa. I'd like to get into medical massage or pre-natal/infant. I'll stick out the time I commited to, but after that im done.
I was so blown away with Hospice, that I think I may want to work with them.

Baby daddy and my friend are still together. Im fine with it now, I think she may be good for him. It's not who i'd pick for her, but whatever makes them happy.

Im really tired so i'll finish updating later.

Hard day

Today has been a very hard day. So we got to the hotel late last night and pretty much went to bed right away. We woke up this morning, ordered room service, got ready for the day and over to the hospital. You would of thought we were royality or something by the greeting they gave us. A bunch of doctors met us in the lobby, we got a tour and then settled into a room. They grew a ton of blood and checked her out. We went over everything that could be wrong, what they would test for first and what not. They majorly hooked us up in the hospital room. We had a PS3, large flat screen tv, a mini fridge stocked with drinks and snack, dvd player (they have a movie rental area for the kids), tons of board games, and a doll house. It was like hanging out at the toy store all day! I also went on a more detailed tour then everyone else and was able to ask questions and what not.
Two things really touched my heart today and has made me want to get back into volunteering. 1- We went by the preemie area and it just about broke my heart. I've toured it before but this was the first time as a parent. 2- This has given me an idea for what type of volunteer work i'd like to do. I was on the tour and passing a room. Normally I don't look in rooms, anyone who has stayed over in a hospital and made to leave the door open will understand. Anyway I noticed a young boy sitting in the door way for a room (which is what caught my eye and got me to look in the room), playing with a toy car. I saw what I assume was his sibbling sitting up in a bed and his parents, a doctor and nurse all basically in a circle around the bed talking. While I left horrible for the sick child, I felt just as bad for the little boy playing with the car. I was able to relate to him.
So what I'd like to do is start a sibbling program or something for the sibblings of the sick kids. The Doctor I was speaking with loves my idea and we're going to try and figure something out. It would be amazing to have a program that I thought of come to life.
So far so good on kiddos tests. No real answers as of now, but very few results came back today. I have so much more to write, but im tired.

WOW!

Geez this past week has been insane! Sooooo much happened that I don't even know where to start. I guess i'll start with the good. The older kids start school tomorrow (very excited). We didnt get to go clothes shopping yet, but we hope to next weekend. The reason we didn't go shopping is because my ex needed to come and pick up his stuff on Friday, and Kiddo needs to have some tests done in Indy tomorrow.
We're still in NC because I decided to get a home inspection done before I got an offer because if somethings going to come up I want to know about it now rather then later. Nothing major has come up, well nothing major that we didn't expect. The chimney is shot and if someone wants to use it, it would need to be fix. But the inspector said he sees roughly 80% of chimneys like that now since people don't really use them anymore. Of course home owners insurance doesn't cover that. I told greg to tie a metal pole to the top and pray for lightning since lightning damage is covered. LOL of course i'd never do that.
We got a super faint line on a home pregnancy test on Saturday, and a bit darker one today. Not by much, but a line is a line right?! Im trying not to get my hopes up but im 99% positive im pregnant. We wont start telling people until a doctor confirms it and that its a healthy pregnancy. All I want to do is call every single person I know and tell them lol. Im sooooo not a good happy secret keeper. I think Greg and I are both in shock.
Things are still amazing between us. It's crazy how well we get along. I feel like i've matured so much in the past few months. He makes me want to be a better person, and I love that. Even though life is a bit crazy right now I wouldn't trade it for anything. I have so much to be happy for and God has really blessed me so much more then I ever knew. I'm trying to work on my faults, which I think is going well, and it's making me into a much better person.
I feel like im a much better mom, and now with family in my life parenting is so much more enjoyable. I love having someone to share my days with, to help me out at bath time, to tell what cute new thing kiddo did, to let me rest when I need it and mostly to be a REAL father to my child. The good days are finally starting to out number the bad and im moving on from the old me :)

"Life isn't waiting for the storm to pass..It's about learning to dance in the rain"

Like a dream

Life has been almost perfect lately. I never knew being this happy was even possible. I feel like for the first time everything fits and is right. Im where I should be, and im with the person Im meant to be with. Every moment I spend with him just makes me even more sure of that. I feel like im finally at the end of the tunnel and standing in the light. It's an awesome feeling.
We left for vacation on Monday and drove to OH. Had a blast doing Amish stuff, which is kinda funny that we drove to OH to do that when we could drive 20 minutes and do that in IN. Went to the spa, ate tons of food, and just hung out as a family.
After that was my MIL's party, which was amazing as well. I think there were 60ish people there and everyone just let loose and had a ball. Kiddo ended up singing a few songs to her, and pretty much danced nonstop the whole night. lol it was cute.
For the record Iam NOT pregnant. I was really let down at first which is why i didn't want to talk about it. Im still let down, but it will happen when it happens. I was so positive I was, because I mean how many times have I got pregnant by mistake. I felt like if I could get pregnant by a one night stand I should for sure get pregnant right away when I try. Thats the only thing that could make life better right now, everything else is perfect. Everyone and their mother seems to be pregnant right now. I found out within 24 hours that 2 different friends were pregnant, I have a cousin about ready to pop, and I have countless other friends expecting. AND all bu 1 person is expecting their 2nd or 3rd child. Im kinda the odd one out with 1.
Its insane how much I want to be pregnant right now. I've always wanted kids, but after having my daughter I wasn't sure if I wanted another. But these last few months i've had a really strong urge for another, and then I met Greg. Its so much more then an urge now. I think about it non-stop. I could really see us having 3 or 4together, something I never would of dreamed about wanting just 6 months ago.
I can't believe how much life has changed since may/june to now. Im still sad over everything, and there are days it really gets me down. But now I have someone to lean on, on those days which makes them less painful. I truly feel blessed.
We still haven't decided about a large wedding or not. It's so much to plan and we have so much going on already. The timing doesn't feel right, but we havent 100% ruled it out yet. My Grandparents have offered to let us use their hotel (which is very close to where we live), and anything that the hotel provides is our for no charge! How awesome is that! My Grandparents are nothing short of amazing. They've been nothing but giving and helpful to us. My grandpa is in love with Greg. He's known him for many years and I guess always thought very highly of him.
Well it's time to get out of bed and start the day :)

Cleaning spree

I have been cleaning for almost 9 hours! I washed all the windows, all the dishes, have most of the laundry done, basically scrubbed almost every room from top to bottom. I still need to pack and finish 2 more rooms. But on the bright side I learned I underestimate my daughter. I had no idea you could teach a 3 year old to vaccum! Sure enough Greg did. Being that he's an ex Marine he's very into everyone pulling their own weight and helping around the house. So kiddo now had a list of chores. Strip her bed when the sheets need to be washed, she puts all dirty laundry down the chute, vaccum her room, and sort and put all her pjs,underware, and socks away.
Im really excited to go, it's going to be a blast. I think we'll go to IN after that. My house should be ready to be put on the market tonight :)